literature

A Fading Scent

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Literature Text

    I watched the sunset pass over your figure as you walked down the driveway. I saw the sunlight illuminate your light hair and then I saw the radiance in your eyes from faraway as you turned my way. You gave me a smile and then waved goodbye.
    Then you disappeared.
    At the door, you had held my face, lightly stroking the skin beneath my eyes. The tears spread over my lashes as I lifted my hands to yours, saying that I wish you could stay longer, that you didn't have to go.
    You just laughed at me softly and stroked some of my hair, "I'll be back again," you said after kissing my forehead.
    My ears were relieved, but my heart was in disbelief. All of the fears in the world swelled within me as I pulled you back again before you left the doorway. I begged again, desperately pleading, "Please, don't go."
    You kissed my lips gently and stole the tears from my cheeks with your index finger. Then you grabbed a lock of my hair and twirled it on your fingers. I had grown it for you. I had worn it down for you since you said you liked it that way. I remember how you told me a few days after we met. You were in a rush as I was walking the other direction, but you caught my arm and said, "You look more beautiful with your hair down. I like it. Of course, you look pretty with it up too, but with it down, it frames that beautiful faces of yours. Brings out your pretty freckles."
    On the day of our bonding, everyone had told me to put it up, but you asked me to keep it down. When I walked down, you smiled lovingly at me and when I finally reached you, you twirled a lock of my hair in your fingers.
    Now I almost loathe my habit of keeping it down. As you began to pull away again, I began to think that if I suddenly put it up that you would say something. I would say something witty or something hot-tempered. And then perhaps we would fight, but I wouldn't care, because at least if we argued you would still be here.
    But I didn't.
    Instead, I clung to your hand and then the tips of your fingers as you pulled your hand away. There was a soft hum of warmth, a remnant of the feeling of your skin lingering upon the very tips of my fingers. I savored it for as long as I could before it vanished too.
    You paused for a moment before you turned around. You gazed into my eyes and said gently, "I love you."
    Choked with building sorrow, I covered my lips as they began to quiver.
    But you walked down the path from our porch and then you left the driveway. I watched every single step you took through blurry eyes, brimming with overwhelming tears. When the engine of the car you stepped into roared to life, my heart broke into a million pieces. It was as though the rumbling of the engine was the sound of the shattered pieces of my heart, being shaken and destroyed until it became nothing but a fading sound, until there was only silence.
    My knees had forsaken me and I fell to the earth with my forehead to the ground as my body trembled with tears, anguish, and fear. When the sun also vanished, the moonlight and the singing creatures of the night had woken me up from the ground. I lifted my head, looking at the spot I had last seen you, but there was nothing left of you there. With saddening difficulty, I lifted myself up and walked silently and stoically to our room.
    I slammed the door shut.
    Then I peered over at our bed, where we had spent hours just laying there before you had to leave. You had held me in your arms countless of times in that bed. You had let me rest my head on your chest just so that I could smell you. I had told you once that I loved your scent. I told you that it had made my world feel right. So you would always stand close to me wherever we went. You would laugh softly at me for describing your scent like a soapy tree.
    "I smell like a clean tree?" You asked between warm and gentle laughter.
    Now I slowly climbed onto the bed, the spots on the sheets darkening as my tears fell upon them. I put my face to the last place you rested and I inhaled, searching for that lingering scent.
    I had found it.
    I sobbed and clung to our sheets, tried to soak up your scent. I pressed my nose to our sheets and smelled the fading scent. The more I inhaled, the faster it went away. I only cried harder as it, too, began to vanish. I threw my fists onto the bed over and over as your scent had finally faded.
    I hated myself for devouring it all.
    But I did not dare move from that spot.
    Instead, I stayed there and whispered into the sheets, "I miss you."
    I had so much regret. I should have said it before you left. I should have screamed it at the top of my lungs as you drove away.
    My only regret is not telling you how much I loved you.
    With my entire heart and soul.
For those who have left and have been left behind.
© 2014 - 2024 RemnantDoomBlossom
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Shinseinasenshi's avatar
Regrets only lead to despair....   and despair only leads to death.
I have no regrets. She knows I loved her and she destroyed me 
over a mistake. Pettyness. Just because you "love" someone based on a set of feelings and senses - pheromones are a funny thing. They can destroy you if you let them.... emotional ties that make them seem different to you, does not always mean it is "love"

True love is cultivated. Kept on. Words are just words.

Just my thoughts...   take them or leave them.


Thanks for the reminiscing of my own though...   too bad it was fake. True friends forgive you. They'll never forget, but they will forgive.

And she still hasn't.....